Difficult
by Terry-May
Summary: Who ever thought that raising a child was easy? Haruhi and Kyouya both thought so at the start but then...let's just say they changed their minds. My first try at a oneshot. Pity me! EDIT: Annual update - Easter Tales. Now a twoshot. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Difficult**

_**Summary:**__ Who ever thought that raising a child was easy? Haruhi and Kyouya both thought so at the start but then...let's just say they changed their minds._

The season of lent. 

For some reason, Kyouya couldn't decipher what he felt for this season. For his son either.

He felt glad that Haruhi would be losing those extra pounds that she earned from those cravings years ago. How they managed to stay and not disappear by the years, Kyouya didn't now why but he had an idea.

Every morning, Haruhi would stuff down, perhaps, two platefuls. But that's another story.

So returning to the main plot, Kyouya changed his mind about thinking that raising a child was easy. He was just so wrong.

One day...

"Otoosan! Otoosan!" his son sluggishly called, just to torture him when he was busy.

_'Easy there, Kyouya. He's your son. Not some sadistic devil...' he thought to himself._

"What does 'fast' mean?" he asked, pulling the edge of the newspaper Kyouya was reading, making it hard for him to focus.

"Weren't you taught that in school?" Kyouya asked his son, turning his gaze on the sadistic devil that he produced with Haruhi.

"No. Our teacher is stupid. She's the one that asked us what it means," his son replied to him, innocent eyes looking into his.

_'Don't give me that look. You're not as innocent as you appear.'_

"Well, why don't you ask your mom about it? I'm busy right now," Kyouya told his son, returning to his paper.

"You don't know the answer too? Gosh, I thought you knew everything! You're as stupid as my teacher," his son said and walked away, probably finding his mother, Haruhi.

_'Thank god that little devil's gone,' Kyouya gave a sigh of relief. 'I just wonder where he learned to talk like that...'_

Meanwhile, Kyouya's son had found his way through the 'labyrinth' and into his mother's room.

"Ah, Sato-kun, what are you doing here?" Haruhi asked gently.

"Mother, father doesn't know the meaning of 'fast'. He's stupid isn't he?" Sato told his mother as he climbed up the bed.

"Don't say such things about your father," Haruhi told him and playfully smacked his hand.

"Surely you must know what fast means," the six-year-old told his mother, ignoring her previous statement.

"Well, it can mean moving quickly or to lessen the intake of food," Haruhi replied, consulting her dictionary as she did.

"So which one is it?" Sato tilted his head in question.

"Uh..." Haruhi stopped to think.

A few years ago...

"Sato, no playing for today. It's Good Friday," Kyouya told his son and picked up every toy in the vicinity.

"Why?" Sato asked, pulling on his father's leg.

"It's Good Friday," Kyouya replied, continuing the pick up of toys.

"Why?" Sate repeated, not content with Kyouya's answer.

"Jesus died today," Kyouya answered.

Suddenly, the child let go of his father's leg and began sobbing.

"Waah! Jesus died? Is that true?" he looked teary-eyed at his father.

Kyouya just blinked.

A year later from then...

"Sato, pick up your toys, put them away and don't play with them today. It's Good Friday," Kyouya ordered his son as he walked inside his room, eying the big clutter of toys on the carpet.

"So?" the five-year old retorted and continued to play with his robot, making 'fly' over a pile of blocks he had assembled.

"Jesus died today," Kyouya said simply, tired of repeating the process all over again.

Sato dropped his robot and the blocks that were stacked up fell down with a crash, and the five-year-old began crying.

"Why does Jesus have to keep on dying?" he wailed and punched the floor.

Kyouya was silent as he watched his son throw a tantrum for absolutely no reason.

_Who ever thought that raising a child was easy?_

Kyouya had to spend the day making his son stop bawling and crying about Jesus dying over and over again.

Seriously. Kids.

And Haruhi? Well, that's another story.

**A/N: ** Yes, I know this sucks, feel free to attack me about it. I'm not doing any harm. It's not blasphemy! defensive And as I was writing this, there's this movie showing on tv about the life of Jesus. So yeah, have a happy Easter! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **Heya, guys! I hope you're having a happy Easter Sunday! I wrote this new chapter on Good Friday and finished it on time on the night of Easter Sunday. x3 It might not be so humorous, but deal with it. I haven't been bitten by the humor bug lately. _

**Difficult – Part 2**

_Name: Ootori Satoshi_

_Parents: Ootori Kyouya and Ootori-Fujioka Haruhi_

_Age: 8_

_Height: 4'3"_

_Birthday: 24 August_

_--_

"Kyouya~" Tamaki sang and jumped unto his best friend. Just like good old times, right?

"What is it this time, Tamaki?" Kyouya asked nonchalantly while pushing the obnoxiously heavy blonde off him.

"I heard from your cousin that today is Good Friday!" Tamaki exclaimed excitedly with wild hand gestures as accompaniment.

"...and?" Kyouya sounded with indifference. Tamaki frowned.

"I have a brilliant idea!" he announced and cupped his chin with all his mighty glory. "Let's put Christian culture into practice! Let's fast and abstain!"

"Tamaki...do you even know the meaning of those words?"

"Umm...no?"

--

"Dad!" Satoshi called sharply once he walked into Kyouya's study. He was carrying a thick, heavy dictionary for God knows what reason.

_No, he's back to disturb me from my ever important work! Calm down, Kyouya. This is just the same scenario you faced two years ago, remember? Calm down. He's not the spawn of the devil; he's your son, so calm down._

"I'm busy right now, Satoshi," Kyouya told his son calmly without looking up from his laptop. Some father he is.

He took a medical dictionary from his desk and handed it to his son.

"Here's a dictionary in case you're asking what abstinence is. This is very important work I'm doing here," Kyouya stated almost in a mind reading way.

"Father," Satoshi addressed after putting the medical dictionary on top of the dictionary he was carrying. "You do know that today is Good Friday and that you should do no unnecessary work. And close enough to your guess, I'm here to ask the spelling of abstinence in English."

"Why do you need that?" Kyouya asked with an indifferent look. He clicked and typed a bit on his laptop.

"Why are you avoiding the question?" Satoshi questioned bluntly. It could easily be inferred that he really did get a fair share of Haruhi's genes. "My most probable guess why is that you clearly do not know the answer. Jeez, and here I am asking you just like how I did when I was six."

"Well, why don't you ask your mother? I'm really busy right now," Kyouya forced out an excuse.

"Very well," Satoshi replied with a high class air and his nose stuck up. "Theory does prove that IQ levels are rather high in young-aged people and rather low in old-aged people. Theory states that as you grow older, your brain cells begin dying due to some stimuli, thus leading to a lower IQ level. In short, the older you get, the more stupid you become if you just spend hours gawking at a computer screen to obtain material wealth that is completely unnecessary considering our current lifestyle."

_Where did he learn to talk like that?_

"Where are you going, Satoshi?" Kyouya asked, finally turning away from his work to call after his son.

"To Mother, of course," he answered with Kyouya's aloof expression. "Seeing that you're having a hard time making up an excuse not to answer me. I believe you've wasted more time in listening to me than just entertaining my question. I really doubt your time management – with all due respect – Father."

--

"Satoshi, you do know that today is Good Friday," Haruhi told her son after entering his room and seeing that he was using the internet and was thus using the computer. In her mind, she was debating whether a boy his age, no matter how advanced his thinking was, would be allowed to use the computer freely like that. "Sato, your uncle strictly said not to indulge ourselves during the Lenten season."

"Or would you like me to spread these wonderful videos of your reaction to Jesus' death when you were seven and six?" Kyouya added in, appearing beside Haruhi by the doorway. He was holding in one hand two thin CD cases.

"Blackmail is illegal," Satoshi pointed out lawfully with his advanced 8-year-old mind.

"They're called 'home videos', Sato," Haruhi corrected kindly. "And I think your father was serious when he said that he was going to share those videos on that talk show your uncles Hikaru and Kaoru host."

"You would never, Father," Satoshi shot and turned to face his parents.

"Sato-kun, why are you indulging yourself in computer games when you know that Jesus died today?" Satoshi's uncle (who is Kyouya's cousin) sounded with a sad tone. "The reason why we do this is to share in His agony and to strengthen our willpower. It saddens me to see you wallowing in dark sins."

"When did you get here, Choutarou-jisan?" Satoshi asked in surprise and quickly unplugged the AVR without manually turning the computer off.

"Just a few minutes ago, I guess. I felt like checking on you today," Choutarou answered with a very saintly smile.

"Well, Father, Mother," Satoshi addressed with a suddenly very polite air. "Uncle and I are just going to take a walk. When we get back, I expect tea already served for the two of us."

"He's such a handful..." Haruhi commented and shook her head after Choutarou escorted Satoshi out.

"And which side did he get it from?" Kyouya asked her.

The both decided to remain silent on that matter since neither of them wanted to start a long debate on Satoshi's karyotype and pedigree.

--

In the garden, uncle and nephew were taking a silent and pleasant walk. All would seem pleasant if not for a snooping kitty cat.

"Sato-kun, is that your cat?" Choutarou questioned and began stroking the cat's head. "It's so cute..."

"Ah, Uncle, be careful. That's not our cat," Satoshi intervened as the cat began hissing. It seemed like the kitty preferred the older guy than the younger.

Before Satoshi could dodge the attack, the cat scratched him on the left hand. It was a very long scratch, but it wasn't that deep. It was just deep enough to bleed and puff up lightly.

"This is bad," Choutarou exclaimed and brought his nephew back in the house.

...

"What did we say about handling animals?" Kyouya asked sternly. Satoshi bowed his head dejectedly and stared at his bandaged hand.

"Really, Kyouya. You shouldn't scold him..." Haruhi shushed.

Kyouya closed his eyes to relax them a bit. Then he opened them.

"Did you know that wounds you get on Good Friday will never heal?" Choutarou asked his nephew gravely.

Being a very vain, very smart 8-year-old, Satoshi began tearing up.

He couldn't imagine spending his life with that kind of unsightly blemish on his immaculate, flawless body. Suoh Mikoto, Tamaki's daughter (who he believed had taking a liking to him), would no longer accept him because he was cursed with that scratched hand that would no longer serve a purpose to him since it was no longer flawless. Oh, how wrong he was...

"M-Mommy...is that true?" Satoshi sobbed childishly unto his mother. Pardon him; he's only an 8-year-old in every aspect except mentally.

Kyouya looked at his cousin apprehensively, and Choutarou just mouthed his apology.

--

And the final part...

It was the evening of Good Friday. The Ootori family was sitting around their table eating their dinner.

"Sato...why aren't you eating your food?" Haruhi asked very nicely. Being a commoner by heart, she hated seeing any food going to waste.

"I'm not hungry..." Satoshi replied with a forced, bored, groaning tone. He moved his dinner around in circles using his fork.

"That's not a very good reason, young man," Haruhi stated. "Do you know how many commoners die from starvation everyday?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," Satoshi countered. "Although I was very certain that the number would begin dropping once the rich people hand in donations to the poor, but I don't see that happening. ...and Mother, you're starting to sound a lot like Uncle Tamaki...or Uncle Choutarou for that matter."

"Satoshi, I'd really regret it if I were to repeat this, so cut the argument with your mother and eat your dinner," Kyouya cut in from the sidelines.

"Too bad, I'm fasting," Satoshi quickly said and stood up. "Mother, Father, I'm fasting as a penance for using the computer earlier today. I'm doing this for obligation since it would be 10 more years before I would actually be required to fast, so please do excuse me."

"He's going to be a good lawyer. He's conniving and good at finding loopholes," Haruhi commented fondly with a smile. She was proud that her son was following her footsteps just like how she followed her own mother's footsteps.

Since the adults were obliged to abstain (under Tamaki's order), Satoshi was the only one privileged with meat. Haruhi gladly transferred his untouched (in a sense) spaghetti unto her plate.

"He could still be a businessman," Kyouya rebutted. "He's smooth talking and good at swindling."

"Or a doctor," Haruhi added.

"Why do you say that?" he asked her.

"No reason."

...and that concluded the special Good Friday for the Ootori Family.

**xENDx**

**Author's Note: **I know I did terribly. -_-'' Please don't rub it in. Reviews are very much welcome. I know they were OOC, and I admit that it's my fault. I haven't had the heart to watch the anime again since the TV is fully booked by annoying parents who should be doing their work...-_-"

Happy Easter, everyone! (I believe I made it in time for those people in the US.)


End file.
